Bullsh*t Free Zone

Truth #1 You will always love your kids but you will not always like them.

Truth #2 Formula feeding does not mean you are a selfish mother who doesn’t care about the well-being of your baby. Period. The end. Move on.

Truth #3 Having ‘celiac’ or buying overpriced ‘GF’ products doesn’t make you look hip. Unless your kids have celiac disease— stop buying into the hype! Let them eat it! It’s called marketing & companies are making $$$ on this trend. (Yes, trend!! Congrats! You just bought a $8 loaf of bread!)

Truth #4 Vaccinations will not give your child autism. (Thanks, Jenny McCarthy for scaring the crap out of expectant mothers everywhere! Well done!)

Truth #5 You do not need the $500 HD 6in screen baby monitor. Just no….

Truth #6 You will end up saying “YES!” to the question “Mommy, can I have a piece of birthday cake??” while you are still struggling to wake up & smack that damn 7am alarm clock.

Truth #7 Breakfast, lunch & dinner are 3 very stressful points in the day.

“I don’t like this…”

“She has MORE noodles!!”

“I’m NOT hungry!!”

“Why can’t I have mac n’ cheese?!?!”

Truth #8 You will be elated when your baby starts talking. You will be not so elated 3 yrs later when in the checkout line your 4 1/2 yr old tells you loudly that the lady in front of you has a VERY big butt.

Truth #9 You will end up singing/humming songs from kids TV shows at random intervals throughout your day. You will catch yourself singing/humming them & want to ban Barney, Blue, the Einsteins, and Jake from ever setting foot into your house again.

Truth #10 Scott from Imagination Movers is kinda cute.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *