Vaccinate! Vaccinate! Vaccinate!

You do not earn an MD by reading/commenting on mommy blogs or reading statuses posted by well-meaning but very misguided Facebook friends. I’m sorry. It is just not possible. Why is some would rather believe someone like Jenny McCarthy over a well-respected MD or the guidelines set forth by the CDC?? I have a very hard time wrapping my mind around that one. I have no desire to start listing stats that drive the point of vaccinations saving lives and being vital home—- do your research but ‘research’ using respected sources. If you question the website’s content– check the about us/about page— background/education of the author?, check to see if it ends in .gov or .net, etc. Generally, .gov is a pretty safe source to find good information on. A .net or .org I would be skeptical of. Go to the library (it’s a giant brick building with shelves–lots of paperback/hardcover books, a few chairs and tables scattered about–smells a bit musty—–lol. Ok. I guess they aren’t completely obsolete yet… hopefully not for a few more years!) Talk to your child’s pediatrician. Go to the health department— talk to someone there. There is no conspiracy theory or any such thing in regards to vaccinations— there IS this anti-vaxx rights movement out there that will sadly cost lives rather than do anything to save lives. Oh and if you think that vaccinations cause autism?

Please look up that ‘study’ that helped fuel the fear of pharmaceutical companies/vaccinations/government.

The Top 10 Reasons I am Jealous of Lady Mary of Downton Abbey

Lady Mary employs a fulltime nanny and can skip off to tea or go horseback riding without making plans weeks in advance and then worry about the sitter not showing.

Lady Mary can eat slowly–enjoying every bite of tarte or quiche. Babies and children at the Grantham dinner table?? I think not!

Lady Mary doesn’t need to go thru the exhausting & downright painful ‘shopping for clothes after baby experience’. She doesn’t need to squirm her way into the size 4 jeans while trying to avoid that woman in the dressing room mirror or worry about the cut being too low and looking like a teenybopper. Her outfits are carefully selected, custom made or tailored perfectly to her lithe figure–and if she did indulge in an extra slice of pie–there are industrial strength corsets and someone to tighten them to her 18″ waist—at her beck and call.

Lady Mary lives in a 50,000sq ft house with well over 100 rooms— plenty of places to hide from children…. and husbands for that matter!

“I just want to be left alone to read my book!!!”

Lady Mary has the most perfect complexion that I have ever seen. A natural beauty with flawless, ethereal pale skin. If I went that pale—I would be thrown in the morgue. She can pull it off. I could not.

Lady Mary doesn’t have to spend an hour straightening her hair with her arms going stiff to get her locks polished and regal looking. She has Anna, her personal maid.

Lady Mary doesn’t clean, yet her house (ahem… castle) is spotless, and she can lounge around without guilt.

Lady Mary doesn’t have the distraction of technology/cell phones getting in the way of having genuine adult conversations…especially with the men as they hang on her every word!

Lady Mary has an incredible, out-of-this-world library. Not like she uses it but just to have it available to her! *drool*

Lady Mary doesn’t have to be woken up by a child staring at her and asking repeatedly for chocolate milk…. seriously… repeatedly. A broken record.

The Tummy Tuck Adventures Part 1

I hate the name ‘tummy tuck’. Just looking at it screams ‘self-absorbed’, ‘self-centered’, ‘shallow’. The name abdominoplasty just sounds better to my ears. I think it has to do with the guilt I feel for wanting this procedure done when it is not absolutely necessary. It’s elective. I wonder if other mothers who have had this procedure done or those that have just danced the idea around in their heads have had similar thoughts. Well I am shoving those thoughts down the garbage disposal and am going thru with it. For 2yrs (Well actually longer than that as when I was pregnant with the twins I could physically feel my stomach muscles be ripped apart and see the stretching of the skin with my eyes.) I have dreamed of having my stomach put back together again. I’m not concerned with my weight. I believe weight comes off with proper diet and exercise… period. I’m 5’3 and weigh between 120-126lbs…yes I could stand to lose another 10lbs but that just comes down to my lack of consistency in exercise… no excuses there! However, exercise cannot repair my stomach or take off the extra skin sagging above my pubic bone area.

After the twins were born via C-section (No choice there due to Kate being breech!)—- my abdominal region was literally destroyed. Diastasis recti, where the muscle of the abdominal region separate was moderate to severe, and the lose skin was definitely there. At this point I need to add my husband always, to my annoyance, says ‘Be proud! You carried twins–4 kids in there! How could you think that gross?’ Um… this makes me want to scream and or cry. Ok, maybe I shouldn’t think it gross or be so self conscious about it, but I. AM. If that makes me shallow and a bad person so be it! I can’t help it. I wish I could put him in my head, he just doesn’t understand. Do men understand? Can they understand?

So, where am I at in the process of having my long awaited abdominoplasty? I am at the very beginning. I just had my consultation yesterday. Talk about feeling embarrassed, try having a Dr. view your most self conscious area of your body— studying, prodding, measuring, pushing. Ugh. I kept reminding myself ‘he does it all the time–breathe’…’ he has seen much worse–breathe’. After that was done, I received the consultation quote for the procedure, including hospital fees. $7600.00. Yes, $7600.00. Breathe. No, insurance doesn’t cover it, and no, you can’t use funds from your HSA. Double ugh. I am looking into the payment plans and the Care Card and discussing dates with the husband–as he would have to take off a few days to help out at home. Yes, when I do get it done, before and after pictures will be posted.

To be continued….

Bullsh*t Free Zone

Truth #1 You will always love your kids but you will not always like them.

Truth #2 Formula feeding does not mean you are a selfish mother who doesn’t care about the well-being of your baby. Period. The end. Move on.

Truth #3 Having ‘celiac’ or buying overpriced ‘GF’ products doesn’t make you look hip. Unless your kids have celiac disease— stop buying into the hype! Let them eat it! It’s called marketing & companies are making $$$ on this trend. (Yes, trend!! Congrats! You just bought a $8 loaf of bread!)

Truth #4 Vaccinations will not give your child autism. (Thanks, Jenny McCarthy for scaring the crap out of expectant mothers everywhere! Well done!)

Truth #5 You do not need the $500 HD 6in screen baby monitor. Just no….

Truth #6 You will end up saying “YES!” to the question “Mommy, can I have a piece of birthday cake??” while you are still struggling to wake up & smack that damn 7am alarm clock.

Truth #7 Breakfast, lunch & dinner are 3 very stressful points in the day.

“I don’t like this…”

“She has MORE noodles!!”

“I’m NOT hungry!!”

“Why can’t I have mac n’ cheese?!?!”

Truth #8 You will be elated when your baby starts talking. You will be not so elated 3 yrs later when in the checkout line your 4 1/2 yr old tells you loudly that the lady in front of you has a VERY big butt.

Truth #9 You will end up singing/humming songs from kids TV shows at random intervals throughout your day. You will catch yourself singing/humming them & want to ban Barney, Blue, the Einsteins, and Jake from ever setting foot into your house again.

Truth #10 Scott from Imagination Movers is kinda cute.

Back in Skinny Jeans 6 Hours After Having Baby #3!

Seriously? I mean, really? What is it with the heralding and the parading of new mothers’ bodies and the media-driven unhealthy, unnatural competition to attain a perfect pre-baby body immediately after giving birth??? I’m sick to death of standing in line at the grocery store and seeing the headlines of “Kim Kardashian AMAZING After Baby!”, “Olivia Wilde Back in Skinny Jeans 2 Weeks Post-Partum!”, “Kristen Cavallari in Bikini 4 Weeks After Baby #2!”.

I admire the Duchess of Cambridge showcasing her postpartum ‘bump’ hours after giving birth to the future King of England, but even then I had to cringe—- nylons–dress?? Hours after baby?? It made my skin crawl just thinking about it. The postpartum bleeding, swelling, and everything else that comes along with delivering a 9lb baby??? I hope she went straight home and threw on yoga pants and her husband’s oversized sweatshirt.

The media needs to stop this sick fascination with the bodies of new mothers immediately. The mental state of a new mother is generally pretty fragile especially with the HUGE hormone shifts that take place. Having added pressure to look like the celebs after having babies— is just too much. Not to mention it sets unrealistic expectations on a new mother. Celebrities have nannies to care for the newborn while they run to the gym 3-5x a day, or take a nap, or get a full night of sleep. They have personal trainers, chefs to count calories for them, and many additional luxuries us, non-celeb moms do not have.

We have another generation behind us, it isn’t too late to stop the bombardment of deceptive images being thrown at women. I understand that the media needs to sell magazines but there must be another way to sell them without destroying the self confidence, self esteem of women. Brainstorm other ‘juicy’ gossip that can drive sales. Enough with the ‘body after baby’ headlines. What about a positive spinoff of this? Take a new direction. Take a road less traveled. Be bold. My twin 2yr old daughters thank you.