Self tanner is my #1 secret to looking awake… or really just alive! I put it on my face/neck/chest and arms once a week during winter AND summer. The only thing I do differently during summer is that I use a self tanner that’s a bit darker and less moisturizing. My favorite time to apply is about an hour before bed, and I throw on an oversized tshirt—please don’t wear your favorite Victoria’s Secret pjs! Staining sometimes happens.
There are many great brands out there… and there are many not so great ones. In MY opinion, Neutrogena is by far the worst when it comes to color and fading/wearing off. The color tends to be on the more orange side. Even with the perfect application of any of the Neutrogena self tanning lotion/gel/mousse/spray there are streaks. When it starts wearing off it falls off in scales and you end up looking like a reptile as opposed to fading evenly. L’Oreal is a little better when it comes to application due to a better color guard, but it wears off the same way. The best of the drugstore brands that I have found is Banana Boat. Specifically, Banana Boat Sunless Summer Tanning Lotion. I use the light/med in the winter and deep dark in the summer. Sorta a drugstore brand but not really is Ulta’s Sunless tanning continuous spray. It’s under $10 and there are often BOGO offers AND it’s AMAZING!!! It has the perfect color and fades evenly and is a breeze to apply!! If I’m feeling blah in the morning and haven’t used sunless tanner in awhile I will spray this on my face (hold about 12-20in away so it applies evenly) and proceed to get ready–doing my makeup last and using a mineral foundation as you don’t want to rub your face. The tan will develop within a couple hours and adds a beautiful glow under your makeup. You’ll walk by a mirror in the afternoon and go “Wow! I look like a million bucks!”
Also, another tip that will save you a lot of frustration—many people have trouble with their hands/wrists. Well after suffering from years of orange wrists/spotted fingers/brown palms—I have figured out the perfect, easiest technique! Apply the self tanner and skip your hands and about 2-3in of your wrists. Scrub your hands front AND back really well. Regardless of whether you used a mousse/lotion, etc. ALWAYS use a mist spray like Ulta’s Sunless Continuous Spray on your wrists/hands. Don’t worry about the brands being the same or color matching perfectly— just spray/lightly mist the tops of your hands and undersides of your wrists allowing the mist to also spray on the forearm and underside of your arm… it will all blend in so don’t worry, just be sure not to spray your palms because with this technique you do not want to wash your hands after. I have tried using mitts/latex gloves, etc. and I would always end up with funny looking fingers/wrists. This way has been super easy and the most effective at creating a flawless look.
Lady Mary employs a fulltime nanny and can skip off to tea or go horseback riding without making plans weeks in advance and then worry about the sitter not showing.
Lady Mary can eat slowly–enjoying every bite of tarte or quiche. Babies and children at the Grantham dinner table?? I think not!
Lady Mary doesn’t need to go thru the exhausting & downright painful ‘shopping for clothes after baby experience’. She doesn’t need to squirm her way into the size 4 jeans while trying to avoid that woman in the dressing room mirror or worry about the cut being too low and looking like a teenybopper. Her outfits are carefully selected, custom made or tailored perfectly to her lithe figure–and if she did indulge in an extra slice of pie–there are industrial strength corsets and someone to tighten them to her 18″ waist—at her beck and call.
Lady Mary lives in a 50,000sq ft house with well over 100 rooms— plenty of places to hide from children…. and husbands for that matter!
“I just want to be left alone to read my book!!!”
Lady Mary has the most perfect complexion that I have ever seen. A natural beauty with flawless, ethereal pale skin. If I went that pale—I would be thrown in the morgue. She can pull it off. I could not.
Lady Mary doesn’t have to spend an hour straightening her hair with her arms going stiff to get her locks polished and regal looking. She has Anna, her personal maid.
Lady Mary doesn’t clean, yet her house (ahem… castle) is spotless, and she can lounge around without guilt.
Lady Mary doesn’t have the distraction of technology/cell phones getting in the way of having genuine adult conversations…especially with the men as they hang on her every word!
Lady Mary has an incredible, out-of-this-world library. Not like she uses it but just to have it available to her! *drool*
Lady Mary doesn’t have to be woken up by a child staring at her and asking repeatedly for chocolate milk…. seriously… repeatedly. A broken record.
Truth #1 You will always love your kids but you will not always like them.
Truth #2 Formula feeding does not mean you are a selfish mother who doesn’t care about the well-being of your baby. Period. The end. Move on.
Truth #3 Having ‘celiac’ or buying overpriced ‘GF’ products doesn’t make you look hip. Unless your kids have celiac disease— stop buying into the hype! Let them eat it! It’s called marketing & companies are making $$$ on this trend. (Yes, trend!! Congrats! You just bought a $8 loaf of bread!)
Truth #4 Vaccinations will not give your child autism. (Thanks, Jenny McCarthy for scaring the crap out of expectant mothers everywhere! Well done!)
Truth #5 You do not need the $500 HD 6in screen baby monitor. Just no….
Truth #6 You will end up saying “YES!” to the question “Mommy, can I have a piece of birthday cake??” while you are still struggling to wake up & smack that damn 7am alarm clock.
Truth #7 Breakfast, lunch & dinner are 3 very stressful points in the day.
“I don’t like this…”
“She has MORE noodles!!”
“I’m NOT hungry!!”
“Why can’t I have mac n’ cheese?!?!”
Truth #8 You will be elated when your baby starts talking. You will be not so elated 3 yrs later when in the checkout line your 4 1/2 yr old tells you loudly that the lady in front of you has a VERY big butt.
Truth #9 You will end up singing/humming songs from kids TV shows at random intervals throughout your day. You will catch yourself singing/humming them & want to ban Barney, Blue, the Einsteins, and Jake from ever setting foot into your house again.
Truth #10 Scott from Imagination Movers is kinda cute.