Vaccinate! Vaccinate! Vaccinate!

You do not earn an MD by reading/commenting on mommy blogs or reading statuses posted by well-meaning but very misguided Facebook friends. I’m sorry. It is just not possible. Why is some would rather believe someone like Jenny McCarthy over a well-respected MD or the guidelines set forth by the CDC?? I have a very hard time wrapping my mind around that one. I have no desire to start listing stats that drive the point of vaccinations saving lives and being vital home—- do your research but ‘research’ using respected sources. If you question the website’s content– check the about us/about page— background/education of the author?, check to see if it ends in .gov or .net, etc. Generally, .gov is a pretty safe source to find good information on. A .net or .org I would be skeptical of. Go to the library (it’s a giant brick building with shelves–lots of paperback/hardcover books, a few chairs and tables scattered about–smells a bit musty—–lol. Ok. I guess they aren’t completely obsolete yet… hopefully not for a few more years!) Talk to your child’s pediatrician. Go to the health department— talk to someone there. There is no conspiracy theory or any such thing in regards to vaccinations— there IS this anti-vaxx rights movement out there that will sadly cost lives rather than do anything to save lives. Oh and if you think that vaccinations cause autism?

Please look up that ‘study’ that helped fuel the fear of pharmaceutical companies/vaccinations/government.

Down with She-Wolves!

I have 3 sister-in-laws who suffer from ‘passive aggressive behavior disorder’. They’re deliberate, carefully camouflaged acts of hostility are fed by jealousy and low self esteem. In dealing with passive aggressive people you need to not show any sign of weakness for that would be like a deer waving its leg under the nose of a wolf.

I am not a psychologist nor do I have my PhD. in human behavior studies. What I do have is 31 yrs of life experience. From having all female friends from kindergarten to high school, mostly guy friends in college, working in a predominately female workplace, marrying the most handsomest, charming, funny man in the world— who happens to have 3 sisters. I have learned a thing or 2 about passive aggressive behavior, aka being catty. It is a very common behavior trait found in all of the female populations of the world!

The major problem with passive aggressive behavior is not so much the aggressor, but those in the same circle of friends/family. The catty behavior is usually so perfectly aligned and aimed at the deer that those around don’t even notice the behavior or are aware of the wolf’s existence. Take for example, a family reunion— the wolves WILL bite, more than likely they will bite when the grandparents are in ear shot. In this instance, the deer can’t flinch or cry out when the wolf bites for if it does the relatives in ear shot will turn and see what the wolf wants them to see. They will see the wolf camouflaged to look like the innocent deer and they will see the deer as a salivating, burly wolf pouncing on the poor deer.

Mastering self control and as cliché as it sounds, ‘rising above it’ are the most important things to arm yourself with as you encounter people that relish in being passive aggressive. Remind yourself that the only reason the wolf has chosen you to attack is that you are above them. Perhaps you have a stronger & happier marriage, maybe your kids haven’t dropped out of college, or you were just promoted at work.

Now if the wolf is continuously chasing the deer and really, really making life a living hell, and it just won’t back off, it may be time to enlist the help of a bear. The bear is that Type A, larger-than-life personality— an aunt or uncle, sister, co-worker, BFF, whoever it is—find a time to talk with them one-on-one. Speak from the heart, and don’t sugarcoat your emotions. Let them share any of their own experiences at dealing with wolves. If the bear is in the same social circles that this wolf stalks his prey— even better! If you can buddy up with the bear a few times–when the wolf starts circling have the bear move in. The bear’s presence may cause the wolf to back off or it still may try and bite, however, if it does try and bite–the bear will knock that wolf out cold. This time when people turn and look they will see the wolf for what it really is.

Just remember that passive aggressive behavior, regardless of it showing up in the school yard or work place all originates from the same place. The aggressor deliberately making the choice to tear someone else down in order to lift themselves up.

The Tummy Tuck Adventures Part 1

I hate the name ‘tummy tuck’. Just looking at it screams ‘self-absorbed’, ‘self-centered’, ‘shallow’. The name abdominoplasty just sounds better to my ears. I think it has to do with the guilt I feel for wanting this procedure done when it is not absolutely necessary. It’s elective. I wonder if other mothers who have had this procedure done or those that have just danced the idea around in their heads have had similar thoughts. Well I am shoving those thoughts down the garbage disposal and am going thru with it. For 2yrs (Well actually longer than that as when I was pregnant with the twins I could physically feel my stomach muscles be ripped apart and see the stretching of the skin with my eyes.) I have dreamed of having my stomach put back together again. I’m not concerned with my weight. I believe weight comes off with proper diet and exercise… period. I’m 5’3 and weigh between 120-126lbs…yes I could stand to lose another 10lbs but that just comes down to my lack of consistency in exercise… no excuses there! However, exercise cannot repair my stomach or take off the extra skin sagging above my pubic bone area.

After the twins were born via C-section (No choice there due to Kate being breech!)—- my abdominal region was literally destroyed. Diastasis recti, where the muscle of the abdominal region separate was moderate to severe, and the lose skin was definitely there. At this point I need to add my husband always, to my annoyance, says ‘Be proud! You carried twins–4 kids in there! How could you think that gross?’ Um… this makes me want to scream and or cry. Ok, maybe I shouldn’t think it gross or be so self conscious about it, but I. AM. If that makes me shallow and a bad person so be it! I can’t help it. I wish I could put him in my head, he just doesn’t understand. Do men understand? Can they understand?

So, where am I at in the process of having my long awaited abdominoplasty? I am at the very beginning. I just had my consultation yesterday. Talk about feeling embarrassed, try having a Dr. view your most self conscious area of your body— studying, prodding, measuring, pushing. Ugh. I kept reminding myself ‘he does it all the time–breathe’…’ he has seen much worse–breathe’. After that was done, I received the consultation quote for the procedure, including hospital fees. $7600.00. Yes, $7600.00. Breathe. No, insurance doesn’t cover it, and no, you can’t use funds from your HSA. Double ugh. I am looking into the payment plans and the Care Card and discussing dates with the husband–as he would have to take off a few days to help out at home. Yes, when I do get it done, before and after pictures will be posted.

To be continued….